Theres a question that I dread.
It can bring me out in a cold sweat and increase my heart rate in a second.
Nope, its not how much do you weigh, nor is it either how much chocolate do you eat in a day, its this:
‘So what is it you do?’
What is it I do?
Answers on a postcard please.
I was asked this the other day, for the gazillionth time (not a number…maths ISN’T what I do) and I proceeded with this…
“well, I’m a full time mum really. I started my business in 2014 but its more of a kitchen table hobby really. I draw things.”
“Oh, so what is it you draw then? ”
“erm, nature stuff”
It didn’t end there, it went on, ok I went on,
on a rather boring tangent about how I like photography and how I want to help woman find their creativity and yadda yadda yadda.
She switched off.
I don’t blame her.
This uncomfortable conversation has had me thinking though.
If I really want to start allowing myself to play BIG next year then isn’t it essential that I know what it is that I do?
I’ve spent too long testing the waters. I’ve spent too long throwing my hand at everything to see what I like best.
I’m passionate about Nature. I’m passionate about Photography. I really want to help woman find their inner creativity yet deep within me I’m scared. My inner critic is screaming but you’re not qualified to do that. You can’t call yourself any of these things because you’re self taught at it all. Don’t even get me started on the picture book that I have procrastinated so hard on because I’m not actually an illustrator.
I’ve answered in the past I’m an Artist, but that tends to lead to ‘oh so do you know such & such who painted such & such?’ Or “Can you paint a picture off my dog?” I’ve made this mistake and that, I know, is not what I do. Lesson learnt.
I could answer I’m training to be a forest school practitioner soon which is great, but thats not all I do. I guess its an answer though.
I’ve bought Tara Mohr’s book Playing Big and I plan on it being the first book I read of 2018. It’s time for me to stop with all the self doubt already. I know I’m ready for this but I know I can’t do it completely on my own. With the community of support I have from people in my life I am reminded that I’m not alone in all this and I’m hoping next year brings me a touch more clarity so if I’m asked that dreaded question I can answer in a way that allows me to hold my head up high and say,
I am a ……?
So I’m going to ask you now, you don’t have to answer but I’m hoping if you do it may help me put into words my title.
“So, what is it you do?”
I look forward to discussing this further with you…over tea, because tea helps!