I’ve never really been a hat person, I’ve learnt from past sunstroke fails that my pale skin doesn’t like that hot ball of fire in the sky so a hat is now essential if out in sunny climates but other than that I’ll never make it into the hipster fashion world but metaphorically speaking I’ve realised recently that I have quite the ability to wear many a hat, at the same time. I’m not sure if this is something I’ve acquired since motherhood or if in fact it’s a skill I’ve always had but learning to accept that this is ok is a new thing to me.
I wrote a post recently about ‘that question‘ The one that I dread so much, and although I still haven’t come up with a truthful one liner to ‘what is it you do?’ that doesn’t leave me looking like a cocky pretentious female, I’ve realised that wearing many hats not only confuses me, but others too.
When I started out on my business journey I kept it all art related. I was (am) an artist. I painted and that was that, but over time I started realising there was more to this, and me, and I took the focus off artist and started focusing on photography and from there I realised I could do so much more. This is when I started getting confused, I started doubting my abilities, my skills, my self. Then throw children and a pregnancy in the mix and I was all over the place. Was I just to focus on one thing, get super qualified in that one subject and do just that…I am a watercolour painter, I am a photographer, I am a mother or whatever. Looking back I see now how I managed to confuse myself so much, and how much I felt I was failing because I didn’t see any achievements in anything, just little bits of this, little bits of that that where getting me nowhere really.
There were achievements though and I see that now. I see that without all these little steps I took, and are still taking I wouldn’t be here writing this journal entry. I’m done with the self criticism, I’m done with the talking down on myself, and I’m done with the whole idea that because I’m not creating just that one styled item that theres no point in it all really because there is, theres a whole lotta point.
Being creative means that despite what is the norm to others, despite what society tells you, despite all the self doubt, you continue on your journey, following that little feeling deep in your gut that tells you this is what you’re meant to be doing, this is your souls purpose, this is you and for the love of the universe and its tellings will you just do it, regardless of what was, and focus right now on what is. So by all means plan ahead, work on those goals and dreams and by taking those little steps, each day you’ll look back and realise how far you’ve actually come.
I’m not there yet, I still feel like I’m only at the beginning but I accept all the hats I don. Without these hats I would be sitting feeling empty because, for me drawing, painting, writing, photo taking. photo styling. nature walking, tree hugging being a mother a wife a friend is my world and I’ll continue as I am, talking down that self doubt that perhaps I’m not enough and working on that witty one liner for the next time someone asks,
“What is it that you do?’